Introspection, Part 2

I'm having fun with these. They don't require much work on my part. I don't have to bother with clever titles, or even editing what I write. It's nice. Those two articles I mentioned last post are in the works, but they are a lot of work, so here's another introspective post to tide you hungry, hungry hippos over.

Progress on my novel has ground to a halt, as with most creative processes in my life at the moment. The general cloud of oppression has momentarily lifted, thanks to a fun weekend, but it remains lingering at my vision and clouding my thoughts. I usually find depression, and all the negative feelings in life, fuel creativity a lot more than happy, happy rainbows do, but this time things are different.

I feel lost, or worse; I feel like a failure. I gave up and ran away from my problems, just like I said I wasn't going to do anymore. Hell, I even said it on here, so I guess I'm a hypocrite on top of everything else. Part of me wishes I'd stayed, but an overwhelming desire to eat, matched with a desire for nice things, overpowered me and I ran. Sure, it was my fault I ended up where I did. I'm not deny that. I made bad choices, consistently and with wild abandon. Most people are emotional eaters; I'm an emotional spender, further proving I probably should have been born with girl parts.

But not all is bad in my life. Sure, I'm quitting my job, but I feel this is a good thing. More change is scary, terrifying, even. Part of me worries I'll be persuaded out of it and spend the rest of the year wasting my life at that place, but I think I'll survive this time. I don't know where I'm going to end up, but to be honest, I'm a little excited. I need some kind of crazy, risky unknown to conquer after my failure. My music career is taking off, too. Opportunities are flying out of the woodwork and things are looking good.

I could do with some new people in my life, though. I love my friends and I don't want to lose them, but sometimes I feel like I need a different crowd. It kind of makes me miss my old school friends at time. Lord knows I could barely stand any of them, but we had some weird kind of chemistry that really worked and I've never been so close with another person as I was with one friend in particular.

Time marches on.

On the random subjects, I constantly forget how brilliant the lyrics to "Oh My" by The Drones are. Seriously, look them up. Australian still has some stunning songwriters left. Like Glenn Richards from Augie March.

"Now did you expect to see someone that you hadn't seen,
somebody you'd known since you were 16,
but if love is a bolt from then blue,
then what is a bolt but a glorified screw?"

Just amazing.

Eh, I'm just not feeling all that witty and clever today, I really can't do it. Hold out though, I've got two amazing articles coming up sometime soon, full of biting wit, razer sharp sarcasm and blinding satire. I promise.

Je t'aime, mon ami. Au revoir.